Mr Whippy
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 posted on 31/1/25 at 01:17 PM |
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fed up...
So this is an odd one
Like most blokes I keep myself to myself, unlike the wife who won't stop moaning.
I have started a course on becoming a driving instructor and am enjoying it a lot and have done very well so far with my tests, I hope to do that full
time asap but due to various things that may take even the rest of the year before that can happen.
I'm in a good paying but absolutely dreadful job I literally hate, I hate the job, I really hate the people, I hate the office, you name it I
hate it. btw I hate it a lot.
I have not managed to get a decent nights sleep in about 2 weeks now due mainly to work, now one of my co-workers is leaving and have to do his
projects as well as mine. I am so stressed out you would not believe, and as the Joker said "all I have are negative thoughts...".
Now fortunately, I don't really need much of an income to get by, even with the kids as I own the house and only have a £200 p/m loan on the old
car, so don't actually need my current wage, at least till I become that driving instructor. I am at that point of just handing my laptop back
and walking out the office and getting any other job than this BS. There's even an Amazon delivery depot 10mins walk from me, hell I'd even
be happy working in the petrol station at this point! I think I'd like to get back to van driving tbh, I have a spotless license...
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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Replicar328
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 02:18 PM |
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For what it's worth, I'd say that at least you have a plan for the future and you are acting on it.
You are clearly tempted to chuck in the job you have but I'd urge you to stick it out long enough for you to transition seamlessly to your new
career. If you try to work at a pace which is not stressful for you it may not be acceptable to your employer - if they decide to "let you
go" at least you'll be financially better off than if you just quit.
Many are literally stuck in a job they hate but they just keeping going as they don't have much choice. There is certainly a shortage of driving
instructors so you have made a good choice.
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swanny
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 04:10 PM |
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"all I have are negative thoughts..."
from the outside i'd say that this is a mental health issue which needs addressing/support. If work is leading to negative thoughts and not being
able to sleep it will also be having other impacts on you physically.
Does work offer any support ? Counselling etc (from what you've said I'd guess not)
Is it an option with your work to take a period of sick leave? if you are set on leaving anyway it may give you a breather - allow you to catch up
with your mental and physical health and potentially give you time to speed up the progress of the driving qualifications?
No job is worth ruining mental and physical health for. I'm supporting a member of my team back into work after a period of ill health and the
stepping away really seems to have helped.
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dmac
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 04:53 PM |
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If you really don't need the money then you're in a good position and should just go in and do an honest day's work, when the projects
start to fall behind schedule due to the reduced staff, report it to management and let them that are paid to do it worry about it, don't let
them pressure you into working yourself into an early grave. The worst that can happen is they sack you and you might have a good claim for unfair
dismissal.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 07:02 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by swanny
"all I have are negative thoughts..."
from the outside i'd say that this is a mental health issue which needs addressing/support. If work is leading to negative thoughts and not being
able to sleep it will also be having other impacts on you physically.
Does work offer any support ? Counselling etc (from what you've said I'd guess not)
Is it an option with your work to take a period of sick leave? if you are set on leaving anyway it may give you a breather - allow you to catch up
with your mental and physical health and potentially give you time to speed up the progress of the driving qualifications?
No job is worth ruining mental and physical health for. I'm supporting a member of my team back into work after a period of ill health and the
stepping away really seems to have helped.
Yeah that's what bothers me most tbh, we don't even get training far less anything else, sometimes I just want to walk out the office and
not come back. I'm usually a very easy going cheery person but I can barely face going into work now,
I'm actually working from home today to get some space. Didn't work, they called me on Teams and I've landed even more to do, emailed
one of the managers back and asked is there anyone actual running the job as it seems I'm now the project manager rather than the planner, yet
none of the engineers work for me...! Totally rotten job
One of the other planners left after Christmas (only found out when I tried to email her) not one of my "Team" bothered to tell me for 2
weeks! The planner I'm now covering for handed in his notice 3 weeks ago, I found out on Monday so I have practically no handover of another 5
major projects, FFS.
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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JoelP
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 08:45 PM |
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I'd agree with the comment about taking some time off to recover. Your doctor will easily give you a sick note. It's probably the only way
to make them sort their crap out.
My wife has the same problem, hates her job, has far too much pressure, far too much work to do in the hours she's paid for. Then the deputy goes
off with stress and she has to do both jobs.
I have the opposite problem. I love my job so much I could easily do 7 days a week 
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 31/1/25 at 11:36 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by JoelP
I'd agree with the comment about taking some time off to recover. Your doctor will easily give you a sick note. It's probably the only way
to make them sort their crap out.
My wife has the same problem, hates her job, has far too much pressure, far too much work to do in the hours she's paid for. Then the deputy goes
off with stress and she has to do both jobs.
I have the opposite problem. I love my job so much I could easily do 7 days a week
My line manager when she told me my co-worker was leaving promptly said there was no budget to get any additional resources, I think my look at her
said everything, as the next day she came back saying they were going to advertise for someone, lol.
Thanks you both may be right, I will look into and consider it as an option. Genuinely happy for you that you have a job you love, a long time ago I
was there too, even a few times, just not currently. I may just take an easy driving job though just to do me till passing my ADI final test.
Cheers.
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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SteveWalker
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| posted on 1/2/25 at 12:42 AM |
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It sounds bad enough to be affecting you seriously. I'd definitely consider seeing your GP and getting signed off from work for a while.
Presumably you'll get sick pay? You shouldn't be losing out financially because of their poor management. At the end of the time off, you
can temporarily come back working at a sensible pace telling them it's "to protect your health". That'll get you closer to when
you can quit for good.
You should still be able to carry on with your training while you are signed off, as long as the GP writes it up as work related stress, as being away
from work and doing something else is what is relieving your stress, not doing nothing.
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JC
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| posted on 2/2/25 at 06:51 AM |
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No job is worth risking your health and happiness for. Remember, if you leave, no matter how long you have been there or how important/senior you are,
if you leave they will be advertising or seeking your replacement before you even get home!
The advice about seeing your GP (urgently) is sound. I know we men are reluctant to do this - its our genetic programming after all to be the ‘strong’
one, but even if all they do is give you a few days break then that will be a huge step forward.
You’ve done the right thing, even by reaching out to this community - a problem shared and all that! Speaking about how and what you are feeling is
very important.
Once you’ve had a break, you will be better able to make the right decision - although it does sound like you already know what that might be.
Let us know how you get on - we are all concerned about you now!!!
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 2/2/25 at 12:20 PM |
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I have been in that sort of job, but I was fortunate in that my employer announced that they were going to offer voluntary redundancy in certain
departments - when I got the offer I accepted it on the spot. My line manager called me all sorts of names when he found out!
Went off the be a contractor in the computer industry, mostly commuting into London. Commuting every day was a PITA, and mostly I was very busy, but
there was no hypocricsy in my office - if I was good enough they kept me on, and generally I was on 6 - 12 month contracts. Most of the time I
enjoyed going to work.
Later I went full-time again, and remembered why I hated it. Office politics, office hitlers, back-stabbing... got out of there ASAP.
So I have known work-related stress - as mentioned above, I suggest a talk with your GP and see if you can get signed off for a while. Use the time
to reflect on your work-life balance (which is obviously wrong at the moment) and decide what to do about it.
I have to say that I think you need to get out from your current job!
Best of luck.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 2/2/25 at 08:42 PM |
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Thanks, I do appreciate the sound advice and good will.
I'll take it on board and have a good think about things, maybe will have a chat with my GP...
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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steve m
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| posted on 3/2/25 at 10:02 PM |
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Hi all, ive not been around for a few years, but would like to add my comments to Mr whippy's dilemma
My whole working life i worked in Aviation, Mainly Crew resources Pilot Training etc
Laker air ways 1979-1982, Dan air 1982-1989
I worked for Virgin Atlantic, from 1989- 2016,at Gatwick, (LGW)
1989-1999 were fantastic years, i even went into work on days off to help out, and unpaid, but the my boss was brilliant, and would often say, dont
come in tomorrow, etc as you helped out , and i probably had more time off, than i worked extra, My boss, was not only a great guy, but also someone
you could talk to, and if i had idea's, as in my previous airlines, he would take this info and make it part of our operating procedures
1989-1999 were fantastic!
Boss left, and helped set up another Airline, although it was established in 1995, it needed a real push to make it big, and i had an offer to go, but
declined as it was in Luton, (first BIGGEST regret!!)
I stayed at Virgin, second biggest mistake, Stress, and shyte, i cant even bring myself to mention how it was,
Virgin had a policy of employing uni graduates and making them Managers, due to their Art or sculptor degrees, and i am not joking!
I worked under some total loons, one of which i had to show her how to make TEA, and she was 24 years old, she was also the one i asked her, how she
got dressed this morning, as she was that F ing thick, she didnt understand the question, totally and utterly clueless Bimbo, but she was my
Boss????
redundency is offered in 2010, but im only 50, still owe a sum on mortgage, so have to decline, but here is were it got better for me
Now at this stage, im Mortgaged up to my eyes, two kids, etc, am not in a position to leave, and am stuck in a job i f ing hate, stress does not even
equate to what i was feeling, and in 2011 my best friend who worked along side of me committed suicide, and the note he left, and i still have it,
cited WORK pressure
as of 2010, i pay more into the mortgage than i can really afford, i increase my Pension payments again, more than i can afford,
Mortgage payed up in 2014
In 2012 i had a stroke, due stress, 9 months off work, yet FORCED back into my original job, and yes i do mean FORCED!
In 2016, aged 56, i took redundancy, theres a lot more to that story!!
and after a couple of part time jobs, i retired officially in 2020 aged 60,
The moral to my story, is you are a looong time dead, so while you are living, make the most of what you can have,
pay your debts, dont be extravagant in your younger years, and reap the rewards later, Sadly for some, getting older does not happen!
Also, work out how much you spend "going to work" as that will frighten a lot of you,
On a weekly basis of 5 days, just going to work
2 gallons of Petrol plus wear and tear on my car
tea/ coffee £20+ ish
Food £10 a day min, so £50 plus a week
Clothing for work?
Other stuff, cant remember
I worked out, it was costing around £130 a week, just to go to work!
Now i fill my time doing nothing, or going the the flying field and fly RC planes about,
As of 2016, i love being alive, but pre 2016, i could of easily, of let it all slide downwards
Steve
Thats was probably spelt wrong, or had some grammer, that the "grammer police have to have a moan at
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stevebubs
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| posted on 4/2/25 at 04:26 PM |
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Not asking for employer, but what is it you do? Maybe someone here might know of something going...
Sylva Fury
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 5/2/25 at 01:52 PM |
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Thanks Steve, sounds like you have been through the wars and a half. Glad you've worked it out in the end but did sound serious at points.
Men are generally very bad at discussing problems they have with others as its often seen as a weakness or used by others against you rather than
helping.
I did know a few people who are no longer here due to them taking their own lives and the impact is great and often out the blue or what seems to have
been, even when you see them often. One guy I use to fly models with Richard, drowned himself in a lock, left a note, I had no idea at all till we got
told.
My department has been losing people steadily over the last few months but management don't care, they just get replacements rather than deal
with the issues. HR don't even bother to ask why and you know if people don't even work their notice and never return there's some
serious problems!
Stick with the RC planes, it's a very rewarding hobby.
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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mgb281
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| posted on 6/2/25 at 10:29 AM |
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Eleven years ago I had a reasonably well paid job which I actually enjoyed doing but the management (family owned business) was dreadful. I quit in
2014 and worked via an agency until I retired just over a year ago. The greatest part of working for an agency was the fact the management always knew
that I could just leave without notice, that always made them treat me fairly. They knew that I could leave and find another job the next day, even
now I get offers to go back to work, self employment has always been good for me. However my wife was just like you working where her skills were not
appreciated, the management (NHS) was incompetent, now that she has retired she looks back and realises that she should should have left her job
years ago.
Personally I would look for another job today, if you are good at what you do then agency work is great. In almost ten years I only quit one job
because I was unhappy and that was because I didn't have enough to do!
On the other side of the coin when I employed workers then some of them were really difficult, one in particular was paid a salary, one day he claimed
that he was underpaid and wanted to be paid hourly. Every week he got his pay cheque with his daily hours fully detailed with an additional quarter
hour paid each day, he actually ended up with a 20% pay cut.
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bi22le
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| posted on 6/2/25 at 11:30 PM |
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A couple of years ago I took a job working for a small start up. Within a month I clicked my "colleague" was vile man. A bully and sadistic
person. Physically assaulted team members and threatened me. Management did not care.
Long hours, loads of stress I told my wife and she clicked it. She knew I was acting different and not on the normal work stress way. I am very
fortunate that although we have a fair size mortgage and 2 young kids my wife earns very well.
It all came to head over day at work and I just told him I had had enough and I'm out of there. Went to the CEO, told him I'm going and why
and walked out.
It felt soo good. The job was taking over my life. I'm a mechanical engineer and lucky enough to generally have amazing places to work. That was
on another level
I think you should seriously consider laying it out on front of your manager with a time line to fix it. That will give you the energy to continue. If
it is not resolved or starting to then leave. Things will sort themselves out but your mental and physical health won't.
Track days ARE the best thing since sliced bread, until I get a supercharger that is!
Please read my ring story:
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/13/viewthread.php?tid=139152&page=1
Me doing a sub 56sec lap around Brands Indy. I need a geo set up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHksfvIGB3I
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 7/2/25 at 03:45 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by steve m
Virgin had a policy of employing uni graduates and making them Managers, due to their Art or sculptor degrees, and i am not joking!
I worked under some total loons, one of which i had to show her how to make TEA, and she was 24 years old, she was also the one i asked her, how she
got dressed this morning, as she was that F ing thick, she didnt understand the question, totally and utterly clueless Bimbo, but she was my
Boss????
When I was a contractor I had one job where my line manager was an ex-airline stewardess... and a total waste of space. Fortunately the rest of the
team were ace and we basically did the job while disregarding most of what she said. There wasn't much she could do about it as we were all
contractors and could walk out with just a week's notice - and our skills were in demand at that time.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 12/2/25 at 08:26 AM |
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Just an update, I have managed to get a van driver job with Amazon, who's depot is just 10 mins walk from my house 
Once they have done my background check (I already have this for the driving instructor job, but it says Driving instructor at the top so didn't
want to give them that one ) Hopefully I will be starting next week and will do that until I have qualified for my driving instructor pink license.
It's doing deliveries in the area where I live so is super easy. Lets hope this is the last week I ever have to work in an office for the rest of
my life!
Actually really looking forward to getting back to driving as that is the most calming time for me It's been interesting and saddening to hear
the stuff others have had to deal with but you do need to look out for yourself and not put up with bad work conditions, if you have the opportunity
just leave. When I told my family of the issues they were totally supportive and all said just get out of there asap.
Thanks
I'm looking at my meeting calendar for today, 5 meetings before lunch, 2 happening at the same time what is this BS?!
[Edited on 12/2/25 by Mr Whippy]
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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coyoteboy
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| posted on 12/2/25 at 10:45 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Mr Whippy
I'm looking at my meeting calendar for today, 5 meetings before lunch, 2 happening at the same time what is this BS?!
Haha that's absolutely normal in my last job. 9=5 meetings, drop ins over lunch, pick between what you think are the most important and ditch
the others. I found it a bit much after 9 years and ditched it for a simpler, slower life paid twice as much. Got bored and have now taken on two jobs
simultaneously with a new kid and a new house. Each to their own, but I get bored if life's too calming. Glad you found a way out, keep your chin
up and do what's right for you.
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swanny
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| posted on 14/2/25 at 07:46 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Mr Whippy
Just an update, I have managed to get a van driver job with Amazon, who's depot is just 10 mins walk from my house
Once they have done my background check (I already have this for the driving instructor job, but it says Driving instructor at the top so didn't
want to give them that one ) Hopefully I will be starting next week and will do that until I have qualified for my driving instructor pink license.
It's doing deliveries in the area where I live so is super easy. Lets hope this is the last week I ever have to work in an office for the rest of
my life!
Actually really looking forward to getting back to driving as that is the most calming time for me It's been interesting and saddening to hear
the stuff others have had to deal with but you do need to look out for yourself and not put up with bad work conditions, if you have the opportunity
just leave. When I told my family of the issues they were totally supportive and all said just get out of there asap.
Thanks
I'm looking at my meeting calendar for today, 5 meetings before lunch, 2 happening at the same time what is this BS?!
[Edited on 12/2/25 by Mr Whippy]
I'm really pleased to hear this new Mr Whippy and really excited that you are on your way out of the job you hate. Glad you reached out on here.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 14/2/25 at 02:08 PM |
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Thanks
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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Rod Ends
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 posted on 14/2/25 at 10:15 PM |
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Is driving for Amazon (or any of the others) actually calming?
I get the impression from seeing deliveries in the area every day that it's hurry, hurry, hurry.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 14/2/25 at 10:43 PM |
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Depends on how you define calming. I have just left a job where I was dumped with almost four times the workload I had before the start of Christmas
(I was already busy) while being told by my line manager they would not be replacing the other 3 in my team who all just left in the space of one and
a half months. I like being busy but being overwhelmed is not fun.
I've been a van driver and even a city bus driver before and its more about knowing where you stand and ending your shift with work done and not
having to worry about the horror you face tomorrow. For weeks & weeks its just been a constant barrage of problems, selfish demanding managers and
not even knowing what todays disaster is going to be, that is stress...
Today I handed in my laptop and swipe cards & letter to the HR girl who was a bit taken back but was nice about it and wished me well. Hopefully
the last office job I am ever cursed with.
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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