jambojeef
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| posted on 13/6/05 at 11:13 PM |
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Most laughably bad car repair you've seen?
Went to see a Rover 800 2.0 vitesse tonight!
The whole car was hilarious but the best bit was where the ABS warning light is supposed to illuminate on the dash the bloke hasnt taken the bulb out
BUT - put a square of black tape on the perspex front cover to the instruments!
I actually laughed with the guy in the passenger seat next to me when I saw it!
Yours gentlemen??
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rayward
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| posted on 13/6/05 at 11:31 PM |
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once(when i was younger and stupider!) bought a nissan patrol, when i igot home and opened the rear hatch it was a rusty mess, i sold the car on but
whenthe guy came to view it i just told him the catch on the rear hatch was stuck and i couldn't get it open!.
Ray
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Hellfire
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 07:34 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by rayward
once(when i was younger and stupider!) bought a nissan patrol, when i igot home and opened the rear hatch it was a rusty mess, i sold the car on but
whenthe guy came to view it i just told him the catch on the rear hatch was stuck and i couldn't get it open!.
Ray
Yeah - i bought it!!!!
Well, maybe not 
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NS Dev
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 07:43 AM |
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hmmmmmm, not sure if I should say this on here, but then it was very cheap!!
I once sold a Peugeot 205 gti, which I bought as a £400 billy bargain (this was 5 years ago!) and the drivers side door lock didn't work. Who
actually checks door locks when they go to see a car, and it's unlocked when they get there!
This chap didn't!
Got a phone call later, said that you have to wiggle the key a bit but it "should" work.
ooopps!
PS. I don't like lying, but it was a cheap car and I really couldn't be bothered to get a new lock!
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Dusty
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 07:44 AM |
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My first car, an A35 van, had the passenger door bottom hinge held into the bottom of the front wing by two six inch nails into a space that had been
filled with concrete. They hadn't invented fibreglass filler at the time.
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NS Dev
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 07:53 AM |
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I've now just remembered the really laughable car that I saw!!!!!!!
I went to see an X-pack arched MK2 escort with a 2.3 v6 cologne engine in it.
The car was not tidy but then at £600 I didn't expect it to be, just wanted it to be solid structurally which the seller assured me it was!
It was only a few miles away so I went to see it..............................
The good bit was the X-pack was quite nicely done, but....................
I went lift the carpets and the seller remarked "there's sum weldin' in there but it's welded fur strenf, not cos it were
rotten" the inner and outer sills were a total bodge of mig wire etc, yup welded for strength cos if it wasn't it would have fallen to
bits!
I then started the engine, which was actually very healthy and really revved, it apparently had steel internals etc but on the basis of the car so far
I regarded that claim with some scepticism!
I then had a look under the back as apparently it had an atlas axle and capri lsd in it.
Well.............it did indeed, but I have never before or since, seen exhaust clamps used as axle U-bolts
I proferred that this was pretty unsafe (as was the battery with no clamp free to wander the engine bay) and he then offered to take me for a
spin!!!!!
I refused, but offered him £200 for the car as the axle was worth that. He argued etc about the rot and welding, so I said that I had seen another
escort, a MK2 RS2000, for sale in Ibstock nearby, for "silly money" and that was rotten and a mess too but it had just been roughly tarted
up and put on a forecourt, and that it must be a complete twat that thought they could sell it for that!!.................................he then
remarked somewhat bitterly that that was his forecourt and the RS was in VGC!!!!!!!!!!
DOH!
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Petemate
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 08:24 AM |
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Hi All
Some years ago I had a mate with a Ford Classic 1340cc (the one with a rear window like an Anglia) Well, the floor & members were pretty rotten.
He jacked it up, and placed pieces of wood around the rotten cross-members and outriggers, and from the inside pured in a concrete mix. After it was
set, we sprayed it all underneath with underseal, and it looked perfect. I myself took it for its MOT, and the tester remarked on the good condition.
He said "We don't see many of these in this condition. Solid as a rock" I could hardly keep my face straight. It went on to give the
next full year of service without any problems, and as far as I remember he sold it on to a banger racer.
Petemate
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zilspeed
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 09:10 AM |
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My old man did a unique repair...
Bedford CA utilabrake with rotten sills.
Carved a 4"x2" to the right shape, jammed it into position and pop riveted a skin of thin aluminium over the top.
Top job.
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ned
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 09:15 AM |
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i repaired my 205 after hitting a fox by rivetting some ally plate behind the bumper, you can only see the shiney rivet heads from the front 
here's the before, haven't got an after yet.
 
foxbumper2
beware, I've got yellow skin
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theconrodkid
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 02:14 PM |
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got given a lada,water pump bearing had gone and the fan had holed the rad,put a 2nd hand pump on and filled the rad,it kept leaking,in went some rad
weld,still leaking,mixed up some plaster into slurry and poured that in till the leak stopped(plaster set)
sold it to a nutta,he came back 5 mins later saying it was overheating,i said it was fine when it left here,never heard any more
who cares who wins
pass the pork pies
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rusty nuts
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 05:22 PM |
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Once when I was on holiday down in Cornwell in a mates MG Magnette the car broke a rear spring , managed to jack the car up and get the ends of the
spring together, nipped into a hardware shop and got a G clamp fitted it to spring and tied it on in case it fell off . Managed to do about a 100
miles in it before we found a new spring. Perhaps shouldn't mention the old rover P6 v8 that I welded up the worn camshaft lobes and refrofiled
with an angle grinder, run a treat when I sold it
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tom windmill
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 08:24 PM |
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No offence to any (R)over owner but who would buy a rover in the first place unless its a v8 for a kit
Tom
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jambojeef
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 09:33 PM |
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A ha....
Yeah - my Rover 800 vitesse interest is for their lovely Garrett t25!
I thought that car was hilarious and I never even looked for plaster in the cooling system!
Geoff
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Alan B
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| posted on 14/6/05 at 10:41 PM |
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I hope someone is making a list of these cars and their sellers......
You know, just in case they have any other bargains to unload...LOL
Seriously guys...very funny stories..
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NS Dev
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 07:35 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by tom windmill
No offence to any (R)over owner but who would buy a rover in the first place unless its a v8 for a kit
Tom
Rover P6 was (in many ways) a very nice car!!!!
I don't wish to try and defend BL group as most of their products were "poor" shall we say, but there were a few gooduns too!
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NS Dev
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 07:38 AM |
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ahhhhhh, just remembered the time when, whilst driving like a tit, I managed to break the nearside engine mount in my Opel Manta GTE. Every time I
accelerated, the engine lifted up and the cooling fan ploughed into the fan shroud and the rocker cover hit the bonnet!!
I strapped the engine mounting to the crossmember with a ratchet strap and drove it like that until I could get another mount from the scrappy!
Ah the wondeful penny piching days of being a student!!
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NS Dev
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 07:42 AM |
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Oh, and another one!!!
my mate had an old mgb and when travelling back from the east coast the fuel pump packed in.
It was an old model with the sqeeze bulb windscreen washers, and he had a spare can of petrol in the boot, so the washer tube was connected to the
carb and the pickup pipe from the washer bottle was plopped into the petrol can, and his wife's thumb became the new fuel
pump.....................and speed limiter, apparently she could only pump fast enough for about 40mph!!!! Also had a very sore hand by the time they
got home!
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flak monkey
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 10:02 AM |
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Take a look at this...
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/clunker.html
Sera
http://www.motosera.com
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ChrisGamlin
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 10:58 AM |
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A mate of mine had a Talbot Sunbeam, and when the block cracked between the bores, he just used some chemical metal to seal it back up again. It
miraculously ran fine for over 6 weeks, but when it failed again he patched it back up and flogged it quick.
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 11:28 AM |
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Can remeber when a child - was travelling with my brothers in my dads car with my uncle following. Can't remeber exactly what happened but i do
remember all of us hoping over a hedge and peeing into bottle so we could top up the radiator 
must have smelt nice when it got hot
[Edited on 15/6/05 by DaveFJ]
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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steve_gus
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 07:15 PM |
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i had an 8 year old dolomite sprint once that was a real rust bucket. I put a lot of filler in the front wing around the wheel arch at the front
passenger side and made a nice job of the repair. A guy bought it, and as he was counting out the money in my hand, i leant back on the car and heard
a resounding crack as I split the filler!!!!!!
i kept my back to the car, and if he noticed, he didnt say!
atb
steve
[Edited on 15/6/05 by steve_gus]
http://www.locostbuilder.co.uk
Just knock off the 's'!
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Simon
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| posted on 15/6/05 at 10:25 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by NS Dev
quote:
Originally posted by tom windmill
No offence to any (R)over owner but who would buy a rover in the first place unless its a v8 for a kit
Tom
There was nowt wrong with Rover cars, it was the people that built them!
I had a bloke buy a car off me in about 1987. Took the wee re my asking price but I was skint and needed to pay off loan, so took his offer.
He'd overheated about 6 miles from my house, so I took a couple of bottles of rad weld and chucked it in, filled with water and said it'll
be ok now
Apparantly it cost him 60 quid for a tow
ATB
Simon
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DarrenW
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| posted on 16/6/05 at 08:57 AM |
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i had a 325i sport, sump cracked so i repaired it with ematal. It actually worked very well and held for a long time.
I have heard of landrover boys cracking petrol tanks off road - a squishy beer bottle pushed in the tank opens up when fuel is put in and does a good
job.
In my inexperienced years i drove to Cornwall in an old 1.1 Escort (Mk3). It was rough but we went anyway (long way from Durham). About 3/4 of the way
the rear silencer blew. The noise was bad so i tied a rag around the end to quieten it down. It was OK till we got stuck in traffic, i looked in rear
view mirror and saw a lot of smoke as it started to smoulder. I had to dive over onto some gravel and pull it off very quickly before it started to
burn properley!!!
Old mini - catalogue of errors. Most notable fastening a big bore exhaust rigidly to underneath - it cracked off eventually when i was in a posh part
of Durham. I had to tie it back up with wire to get home. I also had the battery cable too close to exhaust clamp - burned through and shorted out.
Fitted spots without using grommets - nearly set fire to dash. Biggest confusion was when it used to die on me up hills. On the flat and downhill was
OK, just a problem up hill. Eventually traced the fault to my jack handle rolling around in the boot and shorting out against battery live.
I have since learned much about cars and have never made same mistakes. They were all valuable lessons.
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 16/6/05 at 09:06 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by DarrenW
when i was in a posh part of Durham.
Didn't know they had such a thing
[Edited on 16/6/05 by DaveFJ]
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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britishtrident
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| posted on 16/6/05 at 09:34 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by ned
i repaired my 205 after hitting a fox by rivetting some ally plate behind the bumper, you can only see the shiney rivet heads from the front
Araldite style epoxy adhesive from Poundland works really well for bumper repairs ----
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