David Jenkins
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| posted on 24/1/07 at 11:03 AM |
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Bar troubleshooting chart
(Oldie but goodie)
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless; front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom and practice in front of mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog and complain about his house training. Demand another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself lashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen over forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
[Edited on 24/1/07 by David Jenkins]
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DIY Si
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| posted on 24/1/07 at 11:13 AM |
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Have yourself LEASHED to the bar? Surely you mean lashed?! 
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My new blog: http://spritecave.blogspot.co.uk/
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macnab
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| posted on 24/1/07 at 11:15 AM |
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yeah I noticed aswell, still very good though
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 24/1/07 at 11:28 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by DIY Si
Have yourself LEASHED to the bar? Surely you mean lashed?!
I think the original was american - or it was a VERY dodgy bar!
(original now fixed)
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