DarrenW
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| posted on 20/3/08 at 02:26 PM |
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Heather
Ive just heard that HM is going to buy a plane with the settlement money. She still has to use hair removal cream for the other leg though.
The judge said she was unbalanced in the court hearing. Macca simply replied if you fold a beer mat in half and stick it under the left leg then that
should fix it.
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Peteff
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| posted on 20/3/08 at 04:26 PM |
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£2.4million settlement, blimey she's landed on her foot hasn't she?
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 20/3/08 at 04:30 PM |
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this made me laugh -
Beleaguered ex strumpet and former Beatle wife, Heather Mills is said to be in a stable condition following an accident on Dancing with Stars
yesterday.
Heather Mills & Jonathan Roberts danced the Samba. At the end of the dance, Heather Mills slid and fell down, causing her to become stuck fast to
the dance floor due to having a depilated under carriage combined with a well waxed parquet floor.
The vacuum created was so strong it took emergency officials 45 minutes to pry Ms Mills from her predicament.
At first they considered taking up the section of flooring immediately underneath the prone star. This was ruled out by the manager of the venue where
the dance competition is filmed, as there was an Indian wedding booked to use the hall next.
The dumbfounded dancer had butter liberally applied to her nether regions and was eventually slid along the shiny surface, to a less conspicuous area
for removal.
An unspecified size of dance area was unfortunately damaged during the de-vagination of the floor and Heather is reported to have sustained some
injuries from the substitute see-saw set to snatch the stricken strumpet from her suckered snare.
Doctors say that she is fine and resting but has had to be fitted with a prosthetic rubber lady garden due to the previous one being puckered out from
the extreme suction of the incident, that and she used to be a tuppeny upright
[Edited on 20/3/08 by Mr Whippy]
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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Hellfire
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| posted on 20/3/08 at 05:38 PM |
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She couldn't wait to spend the money........ 
[img][/img]
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Guinness
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| posted on 21/3/08 at 12:38 AM |
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What's the difference between Heather Mills and Northern Rock?
One has £25 million, is seriously unstable and screws old people out of their savings,
the other was a bank.
Mike
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Hellfire
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| posted on 21/3/08 at 07:51 AM |
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This thread isn't funny anymore.  It's just not right making fun of her after her recent divorce battle.
It's just prosthetic
Phil
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