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Bacon Tree
Simon - 2/7/08 at 04:12 PM

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden .......

'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.'

'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.'

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.'

'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget.'

'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree'.

And with that ... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages
to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

'Pepe ... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.'

'Luis Luis mi amigo ... what ees it?

'Pepe ... ees not a bacon tree ...


Ees

Ees

Ees


Ees

Eees a Ham Bush

ATB

Simon

DarrenW - 3/7/08 at 06:16 PM

That has tikled me - like it a lot

David Jenkins - 3/7/08 at 07:20 PM

Ah - the old jokes are the best - you know when to groan!

iank - 3/7/08 at 07:53 PM

quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
Ah - the old jokes are the best - you know when to groan!


You'll love this one then

... A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid.
"Certainly Sir," says Jervaise the waiter, "Would you like to choose your squid from the tank over there?"
"I'll have that little green one with the moustache" says the customer.
"Oh no!" replies Jervaise "but he's my favourite! - He's so small and cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger, meatier ones?"
"No" says the customer "It's got to be that one".
So Jervaise gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and ....... the little squid looks up and smiles, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin!
"It's no good", says Jervaise, "I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big, tough brute - he'll be able to do the evil deed."
So out comes Hans, while Jervaise disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and...... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache. So Hans, too, finds it impossible to kill him.
The moral?
.
.
.
.
Hans that does dishes is as soft as Jervaise with mild green hairy-lip squid.

Mr Whippy - 4/7/08 at 01:16 PM