Pubs & Physics
It turns out that there's a scientific and logical explanation for why
people (mostly men) spend so much time in pubs and only get home in the
early hours of the morning. The reason for this odd behaviour is based
on Einstein's famous Relativity Theory.
It works like this: It is a well known fact that the more you drink,
the faster you move. After about 8 beers (or 4 double brandies & coke,
etc), you're moving at close to the speed of light, and this is where
Einstein enters the picture.
According to his Relativity Theory, any body moving at, or close to the
speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e. time for you in the pub
passes slower than for an observer outside the pub. Complicated
calculations have shown that the pub becomes a type of time machine:
- for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours
pass outside the pub.
A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 O'clock, I'm gonna surprise the
family and get home early!!" However, the moment this person steps
outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative radiation
from the environment, and he/she then goes: "WTF??!!?? - why is it so
quiet??
Holy shit!!! It's half past one!! WHAT HAPPENED???!!??" .....and the
answer, of course, is Time Dilation!!
I've tried to explain this to outside observers, but so far nobody
(except fellow time travellers) has been able or willing to understand
the sound scientific basis of this phenomenon.
Please forward this to all your known time travellers - maybe we can
prove this theory by sheer, overwhelming force of numbers.
makes sense to me, but im not sure about the founding principle, "the more you drink the faster you go"
I get slower, and slower until i am, in fact, completely stationary.
Yeah that’s my usual response also and strangely furniture appears as if out of nowhere causing me to fall over it, at which point I must fall into a
black hole or something, as when I come too, I find myself in the future many hours later…must be time travel
quote:
Originally posted by cd.thomson
makes sense to me, but im not sure about the founding principle, "the more you drink the faster you go"
I get slower, and slower until i am, in fact, completely stationary.
quote:
Originally posted by cd.thomson
makes sense to me, but im not sure about the founding principle, "the more you drink the faster you go"
I get slower, and slower until i am, in fact, completely stationary.
quote:
Originally posted by Ninehigh
I would like to know why it makes everything in the house so noisy though, the stairs that gave a tiny creak that afternoon now sound like they're being stood on by 5 tons of drunken me!
If only wor lass would beleive the theory I'd be in 7 heaven