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Pointless car accessories
Alan B - 22/9/04 at 03:17 PM

You know the sort of thing.....adds no performance, comfort or convienience, nor even looks good....usually of questionable taste.

What is your top choice?

Mine are the utterly riduculous wheel spinners (do you have them in the UK ?) totally pointless and look stupid..

IMO


phelpsa - 22/9/04 at 03:21 PM

Mine are those disc look things you put on your rear drums which don't look anything like disc brakes because they dont have calipers.

Adam


Hellfire - 22/9/04 at 03:32 PM

Probably these:



Racing? What's all that about????


skinny - 22/9/04 at 03:33 PM

1) the kit that squirts fuel in your exhaust for that authentic 'rally' sound

2) as above, the cheap drum brake to disc conversion

3) leds on washer jets

4) massive wings on standard cars

i also give nuff respek to those who upgrade their steelies to alloys two at a time, so you can clearly see the sporting intention of a ford orion.

yes wheel spinners do normally lok crap, i don't think that's the point tho. the point is how much they will cost in addition to your cadillac escallade (sp?) (what's it called the kinda pick-up version) with 22" wheels. very bling


phelpsa - 22/9/04 at 03:33 PM

Dammit, I had nine in a row just then, check out the last post column

Adam


heinlein - 22/9/04 at 03:40 PM

Heavy ugly chrome 20" rims on a car that originally had 13" rims with rotors the size of a CD. If you buy a decent brand of semi-light +1 or +2 rims cool, but cheap heavy ugly humongous rims hurt the performance, ride, and of course are hard on the car. I suppose it could be worse and you could put spinners on the heavy ugly chrome 20" rims


timf - 22/9/04 at 03:41 PM

who remebers the de-rigor 70's attachement for the capri

louvred pannel for the rear screen
often seen with jack-up kits and
furry dice.


stephen_gusterson - 22/9/04 at 03:59 PM

and a vynyl roof?


DarrenW - 22/9/04 at 04:12 PM

Exhaust banger gets my vote.

I still cant believe that one (see bargains elsewhere). What made it even better was that it was targetted towards Nova / Saxo drivers - fantastic!!!!


Mix - 22/9/04 at 05:17 PM

Transfer box on most 4x4s

Mick


Mix - 22/9/04 at 05:25 PM

Extended wing mirrors. Only ever used to gauge the width of the caravan being towed

Mick


Hellfire - 22/9/04 at 05:36 PM

quote:
Originally posted by timf
who remebers the de-rigor 70's attachement for the capri

louvred pannel for the rear screen
often seen with jack-up kits and
furry dice.


Like this you mean?

Someone is selling one on ebay!!!

[Edited on 22-9-04 by Hellfire]


derf - 22/9/04 at 07:02 PM

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=42610&item=7923630140&rd=1

No this is a complete waste, and others will look at you and laugh and say, it sounded like a turbo!!




[Edited on 22/9/04 by derf]


chrisg - 22/9/04 at 07:41 PM

What about the cigar lighter cunningly disguised as a Cutoff/isolator switch, as sold by demon theives in their"performance"{read"boy racer"}catalogue

Linky

Cheers

Chris



[Edited on 22/9/04 by chrisg]


Hellfire - 22/9/04 at 08:28 PM

The exhaust thing takes first place for me so far!


heinlein - 22/9/04 at 08:35 PM

My hat is off to Derf. I bow to the master.


Jon Ison - 22/9/04 at 08:36 PM

4" dia exhausts sticking out the back o rusty nova,s

surf board spoilers

neon anything

"sport" "motor sport" stickers on back window

i like fury dice though.


macspeedy - 22/9/04 at 08:52 PM

stick on petrol cap covers to make it look
like a carbon filler! ah what taste


Mark Allanson - 22/9/04 at 09:08 PM

Saxo's with one perfectly serviceable wiper removed, the other moved to the centre and the park position moved to the vertical in the centre of the windscreen - WHY?


stephen_gusterson - 22/9/04 at 09:11 PM

the turbo whistle thing was posted a few months back.

lumenition - that was a pointless accessory wasnt it?



atb

steve


Hugh Jarce - 23/9/04 at 05:36 AM

Alloy wheels fitted to "performance" cars.
If you like the look of a set of alloys, fine. What I can't stand is tw4ts fitting cast or forged alloys to their muppet-mobiles in the belief that it's a performance upgrade. You see plenty of truly 5hite cars running around with outdated, unfashionable alloys, just because they're made of aluminium.
Most alloys are heavier than their steel counterparts (unless you are talking truck wheels) and will therefore increase unsprung weight rather than reduce it.
For car sized wheels, the only real advantageous alloy wheel is the spun alloy wheel, though even then, some of the grotesque billet centres certain companies sell for them add gobs of unnecessary weight.


marktigere1 - 23/9/04 at 07:58 AM

Under car LED's.

WTF is the point of them?

Is it to look underneath for the 'performance' addition that has just fallen off?


kiwirex - 23/9/04 at 09:56 AM

ugly chicks?
Sorry.


derf - 23/9/04 at 12:59 PM

I actually bought a turbo noise maker about a year an a half ago, I put it on my wifes car and me and a few friends spent the better part of 6 hours driving back and forth in a parking lot trying to make it sound like the turbo on my car. We did do it, but it sounds more like a . turbo that is broken and falling appart.

We came to the conclusion that when a car shifts there is a temporary loss of pressure in the turbo and for an instant it sucks air in, the reverse air motion is what causes the psssshhhttteeeewwww sound, although I actuall made a better sound by blowing on it.

Ive also seen an electric model that has it's own speaker.


Alez - 23/9/04 at 01:09 PM

Spare wheel, top, heater, windows, reverse, windscreen.

(I pretend those are useless accesories while I pull my BEC out of the parking..)


derf - 23/9/04 at 01:13 PM

The reason that these "psudo-performance mods" are so popular is because of the racer/ricer image. The companies that make these see big wings and big wheels on TV racing and think that thier consumer base will like it too, so it goes into production and the new product line s on TV and in shows on company sponsored cars. After a half a season of promotion joe schmoe who has $300 in his wallet goes out and buys a wing to put on his car. This $300 wing actually will provide downforce and help his car handle, at speeds he will most likely never see.

Company B comes along and says why do we need to make this same wing work when we can make it for 1/2 the price and make it look good. so the wing is now $150 and at any speed it will so nothing except slow ricer-racer down.

When 17" wheels were mandated in the 90's as mandatory by european touring car organizers they had no clue that 5 years later that is the appitomy of style in the car "tuner world".

My thought as what is the next big need to have part? WRC wings with the extra slats in them (see photo bellow). What started out as the focus wrc car getting a slight advantage in the twisties of a rally stage will make some 18 year old pimple faced kid real cool 5 years from now. (no offewnce ment to those young pimple faced kids here trying to make a cool car)


derf - 23/9/04 at 01:27 PM

Sorry couldnt help it





[Edited on 23/9/04 by derf]


marktigere1 - 23/9/04 at 02:40 PM

That bottom picture looks pornographic


Mad Dave - 23/9/04 at 03:33 PM

Why oh why would you modify your bonnet to partially cover your headlights???

What about all those Novas you see with the number plate depression filled and flushed and the plate nailed to the bumper as low as possible.

Both pointless car mods


stephen_gusterson - 23/9/04 at 03:53 PM

originally posted by gasgasgas, who would want one of these (or is it a pair?) on their car...........


atb

steve Rescued attachment untitled.jpg
Rescued attachment untitled.jpg


skinny - 23/9/04 at 04:02 PM

quote:
who would want one of these (or is it a pair?) on their car.......


i can only see 1 tazmanian devil and wouldn't much want it as a car accessory


splitrivet - 23/9/04 at 04:35 PM

Wish you wouldnt do things like that gustie I nearly fell off me chair.
Anyone know how to get drool out of a keyboard(yes I nearly did say something else)
I vote for compasses, why the frig would you need a compass unless your in the middle of the sahara desert.
Cheers,
Bob


Mix - 23/9/04 at 04:52 PM

Bull bars ??

Mick


Peteff - 23/9/04 at 06:33 PM

They are handy for finding short cuts when you've been diverted or if you can't tell left from right like my wife.Let me explain. Scotland left, London right. If you go down the M1, south, to get back home you have to go up the M1, north. We don't have a compass but I can''t let them go into Room 101.


phelpsa - 23/9/04 at 08:06 PM

[color=Red]Caravans!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

Adam


Peteff - 23/9/04 at 08:19 PM

Subaru twin headlight and clear rearlight conversions

[Edited on 23/9/04 by Peteff]


phelpsa - 23/9/04 at 08:29 PM

Hey, the twin headlamps make it look way better on the Bugeye.

Adam


Mark18 - 23/9/04 at 08:32 PM

Lexus lights and what seems to be a new fad over here - painting your bonnet black. Presumably to look like carbon fibre, possibly to copy the 80's heat dissipating ones on the rally cars - but all the ones I've seen are gloss and not matt. Stupid either way.

mark


Tblue - 23/9/04 at 08:36 PM

Not heat dissipating, they were painted matt black to prevent sun glare.


alfasudsprint - 23/9/04 at 10:28 PM

going back a bit...the plastic rear disc conversion, cos they're too shiny to be a disc...if you want performance, do it, and bodykits, ok, but stick on performance bits! jeez...bonnet grills, bonnet pins etc etc etc!


Hellfire - 23/9/04 at 10:49 PM

quote:
Originally posted by phelpsa
Hey, the twin headlamps make it look way better on the Bugeye.

Adam


IYHO


JoelP - 23/9/04 at 11:03 PM

i'm with adam on that one, it was a necessary mod to stop people laughing at the daft headlights.

stick on exhausts are the number one useless thing for me. sometime i'll remember to post a picture of this local polo that has stick on bonnet vent and 6 exhausts stuck on the back.


marktigere1 - 24/9/04 at 08:33 AM

Re: The picture of the hood ornament.

Now I'm not the most intelligent of blokes, but I would have thought that the hood ornament shown would have given rise to the following problems:-

1. Instant SVA failure due to projections!!
2. Problem with forward visability!!
3. A bugger to clean the flies off.
4. A distraction to other road users.
5. Not securely attached.
6. Clearly asking for vandalism

Anyone else share these concerns?

Cheers

Mark


stephen_gusterson - 24/9/04 at 08:56 AM

is it her or you with the projections?


surely the twin airbags and more rounded lines (cant see anything under 6mm radius there) make up for the other issues


atb

steve

[Edited on 24/9/04 by stephen_gusterson]


Hellfire - 24/9/04 at 03:34 PM

There must have been something sharp, she certainly made my eyes water!


JoelP - 24/9/04 at 10:08 PM

never, in all my years on the road, have i thought to myself, 'i wish i had some front fogs, really could use them now...' they are never needed. and considering how many prats drive round with them on, i would ban them. i've considered following people home in the past, when i see them with fogs on on a sunny day, and then snipping the wires later. they'd never know...!


DavidM - 25/9/04 at 08:26 AM

Those multi coloured lights that flash round in a circle when the Indian taxi driver in front puts his foot on the brake pedal.

Beaded seat covers.

New VW Beetle flower vase.

BMW badge.


paulf - 25/9/04 at 10:02 PM

Any type of neons or the blue headlamp bulbs. I hate to look in the mirror at speed and see a blue light of any kind behind me. It is particularly bad in the locost as the mirrors tend to vibrate and make it lookas if there flashing.
Paul.