b16mts
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 03:20 PM |
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Clean/ "Dad" Jokes
Just thought I'd post up a few "dad jokes" been told a couple today. These are jokes which are clean, but stupid, and the sort of
thing a 'cool dad' tells his kids.
Please add to the list with any you know!
here's a few to get started:
What do you call a fish with no eye's?
a fsh!!
what's brown and rhyms with Snoop?
Dr.Dre
What do you call a pig with 3 eye's?
Piiig!!
So now i've set the standard, please give us some more. If you infact have used these ones already, then you must be a dad!
who says you can't drive a kit car when you're 6'5"?
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DarrenW
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 03:23 PM |
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There is 2 fish in a tank. One says to the other - how do we drive this thing?
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iank
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 03:27 PM |
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What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
What do you call a woman with 3 pints on her head?
Beatrix
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 05:13 PM |
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What do you think of crazy paving? IMHO it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I was offerred a 42 inch plasma tv today for £40. Only problem was the volume control was stuck on full. Still at that price you'd be mad to
turn it down.
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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clairetoo
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 05:56 PM |
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Two parrots on a perch .
One says "can you smell fish ?"............
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 06:16 PM |
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What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
Humphrey.
(or Triumph)
What do you call a blind stag?
No idea.
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scotty g
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 06:40 PM |
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whats red and invisible?
No tomatoes.
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clairetoo
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 06:47 PM |
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What do you call a gorilla with earplugs in ?
Anything you want..............he can't hear you .
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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Peteff
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| posted on 4/7/08 at 07:22 PM |
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I bet you £20 you can't get me some meat off the top shelf.
No, the steaks are too high.
Butcher, could you get me a pound of kidley please?
Do you mean kidney?
Diddle I say kidley?
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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geoff shep
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| posted on 5/7/08 at 03:05 PM |
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quote:
What do you call a woman with 3 pints on her head?
What about 3 pints on her head and playing snooker?
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clairetoo
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| posted on 5/7/08 at 03:37 PM |
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Beatrix Potter 
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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RoadkillUK
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 03:00 AM |
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What's Orange and sounds like a Parrot?
A Carrot.
I'm off to bed!
Roadkill - Lee
www.bradford7.co.uk
Latest Picture (14 Sept 2014)
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liam.mccaffrey
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 03:21 AM |
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What do you can a man with a spade on his head?
Doug
And a man without a spade
Douglas
Build Blog
Build Photo Album
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MikeRJ
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 11:00 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
What do you call a blind stag?
No idea.
What do you call a dead, blind stag?
Still no idea...
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chrisg
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 11:58 AM |
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What's got two legs and flies?
half a dead horse.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack.
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish.
What do you call a frenchman with a toilet on his head?
Pierre.
What roars along the riverbed at 100mph?
A motorpike and side carp.
I'll get me coat
cheers
Chris
Note to all: I really don't know when to leave well alone. I tried to get clever with the mods, then when they gave me a lifeline to see the
error of my ways, I tried to incite more trouble via u2u. So now I'm banned, never to return again. They should have done it years ago!
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Rek
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 12:25 PM |
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Whats Invisible and smells of carrots?
Bunny Farts
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JUD
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| posted on 6/7/08 at 04:36 PM |
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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MK Indy Blade
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iank
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| posted on 7/7/08 at 10:47 AM |
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool?
Bob
What do you call a man who's being electrocuted under a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a dead, blind stag thats been hit with an axe?
Still no bl**dy idea...
What do you call a man with a tree growing out of his head?
Edward
What do you call a man with three trees growing out of his head
Edward Woodward
[Edited on 7/7/08 by iank]
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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chris-p-duck
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| posted on 7/7/08 at 07:18 PM |
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What do you call a 3 legged donkey??
A wonkey.
Sorry!!!
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JUD
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| posted on 7/7/08 at 08:50 PM |
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OK - one dad joke where the kids are a little older...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs who can swim the English Channel?
Clever Dick....
Sorry...
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MK Indy Blade
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clairetoo
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| posted on 7/7/08 at 09:07 PM |
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Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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MikeR
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| posted on 8/7/08 at 09:38 PM |
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how do you get 4 elephants in a mini?
Two in the front and two in the back?
How do you get 2 whales in a mini
(ok you've got to say Whales cause then it could also be Wales)
M4, seven bridge.
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clairetoo
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| posted on 9/7/08 at 05:22 PM |
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Two eggs, a sausage, and a pancake walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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andrew.carwithen
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| posted on 9/7/08 at 05:29 PM |
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Here's one my 11-year old son told me at teatime....
'Why's my willy my best friend....?
...coz he always sticks up for me!!'
Made me choke on me chips, that one did. Kids of today know no shame!
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clairetoo
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| posted on 9/7/08 at 05:53 PM |
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Why did Eyor stick his head in the toilet ?
He was looking for Pooh.......
Its cuz I is blond , innit
Claire xx
Will weld for food......
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