DarrenW
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 09:54 AM |
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Earthquake Disaster Appeal
A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter Scale hit in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Epicentre - Grimsby, Lincolnshire. News of the
disaster was swiftly carried by 85,000 racing pigeons. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering, "blummin eck" and
"chuffin nora". The earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementoes
from Majorca were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt-out cars were disturbed and many locals were woken well before their giro
arrived. Radio Grimsby reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered by the fact that something interesting had happened in the
town.
One resident, Tracey-Sharon Braithwaite, a 15 year old mother of three said, "It was such a shock; my little Chardonnay -Britney came running
into my bedroom crying, although my youngest two, Tyler-Brooklyn and Megan-Kylie slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha
the next morning". However, on the positive side, mugging and car crime were carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to
ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight into the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings (which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and bone china from Poundland).
How Can You Help?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after and
those items needed most include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps; Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers); shell suits (female); white sport socks;
Rockport boots and anything by Donnay; flat caps for the older generation.
Food parcels to accommodate the special dietary requirements may be harder to assemble but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Lidl
baked beans and spaghetti hoops; Microwave meals; Asda Smartprice ice cream; black pudding; cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew
- Just 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation form
- £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
- £5 will pay for a packet of Benson & Hedges and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected
- Tinned whippet food is also needed!
Please do not send tents for shelter as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of neighbouring areas.
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 10:32 AM |
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like it 
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 12:31 PM |
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At the risk of upsetting anyone surely any disaster appeal should be funded by the people of other countries who in the past have benefited from our
generousity when they have found themselves in this very situation.
[Edited on 28/2/08 by omega 24 v6]
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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DarrenW
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 12:37 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by omega 24 v6
At the risk of upsetting anyone surely any disaster appeal should be funded by the people of other countries who in the past have benefited from our
generousity when they have found themselves in this very situation.
I got a text message earlier with words to that effect - albeit a touch more flavoursome
[Edited on 28/2/08 by DarrenW]
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 12:38 PM |
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I've edited my original post as perhaps some may be offended. Then again why not it is true.
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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DarrenW
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 12:41 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by omega 24 v6
I've edited my original post as perhaps some may be offended. Then again why not it is true.
Ive editted the quote that you have editted
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Confused but excited.
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| posted on 28/2/08 at 03:56 PM |
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" £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine." 
How long ago did this happen?
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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