donut
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 posted on 9/3/07 at 11:00 AM |
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Council house complaints...
1 ) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus growing in it.
2 ) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
3 ) It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4 ) I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
5 ) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you
please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
6 ) And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
7 ) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.
8 ) My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9 ) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from
the wall.
10 ) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11 ) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12 ) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50%
are plain filthy.
13 ) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14 ) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until
it is cleared.
15 ) Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour & not fit to drink.
16 ) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
17 ) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.
18 ) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would
like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
19 ) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20 ) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside
toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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