adithorp
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| posted on 24/1/09 at 09:39 AM |
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Credit crunch!
Most of these have probably been done before but I'll post them anyway. I particularly like #6.
1 As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitation, he starts dictating: '... and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate
this office with just one chair.'
2 What do you call five hedge fund managers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
3 What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari.
4 The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet.
The car's been repossessed.
5 LATEST NEWS: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed.
They've called in the retrievers.
6 Badford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of the takeover by Santander Bank. A Government spokesman said:
'No one expected the Spanish acquisition.'
7 I talked to my bank manager the other day and he said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on.
He sold me one outside Boots yesterday.
8 A young man asked an elderly rich man how he made his money.’ Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my
last penny, so I invested that penny in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at he end of the day, I sold that apple, for 10p.
The next morning I bought two apples and sold them for 20p. I continued this for a month by which time I'd accumulated £1.37.'
Then my wife's father died leaving us £2 million.'
9 A Man went to his bank manager and said: 'I'd like to start a small business. How do I go about it?'
'Simple,' said the bank manager. 'Buy a big one and wait.'
10 Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
11 What's the capital of Iceland?
About £3.50.
12 How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.
adrian
"A witty saying proves nothing" Voltaire
http://jpsc.org.uk/forum/
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Meeerrrk
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 posted on 24/1/09 at 11:22 AM |
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LOL very good.
thats more like it, forget the doom and gloom, we may as well take the pish
For Sale : 2008 Aries/Stuart Taylor Motorsport Locoblade (954 Blade)
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PaulBuz
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| posted on 25/1/09 at 09:48 PM |
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Your showing your age ady!
But then so am I .
Some of the young sprogs on here have never heard of Monty python
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uprjmoSMJ-o
[Edited on 25/1/09 by PaulBuz]
ATB
Paul
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