RazMan
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| posted on 17/12/07 at 11:15 PM |
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A note of thanks
Dear All
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
I must send my thanks to whoever it was who sent me the one about cockroach eggs in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with
every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have a lot of savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
In fact I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program .....
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split £7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died
intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without having to watch and make sure that a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up and
later grab me from behind whilst drawing a jagged edged blade across my throat.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a male deodorant sample and rob me after using me as a sex toy.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore
and Uzbekistan.
Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death
when it bites my bum.
And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a
pervert molester waiting underneath my car to grab my do do.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's
cousin's beautician.
By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read
their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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RK
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| posted on 18/12/07 at 12:15 AM |
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Great, win an award, then go bonkers.
Congrats by the way!
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 18/12/07 at 12:26 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by RK
Great, win an award, then go bonkers.
Congrats by the way!
Fame it makes them mad in the end 
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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donut
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| posted on 18/12/07 at 07:43 AM |
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That avatar is giving me the willies!
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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