50 Year old's face lift.
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends £15,000
and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how
old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess you'd be about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and
asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say around 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to
her the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young,
there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then,
and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
"Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't, " she says.
"I was behind you in McDonald's."
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