A sad series of event, but it made me grin
I have just joined the Mary Rose Divers group on yahoo (at the second attempt, the first try in 2008 went horribly wrong by my doing) and I have just
found this message posted on their site. It made me chuckle, a bit.
Enjoy.
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DON'T PANIC - WRITE A REPORT
The following report from a ship's Master is reproduced by kind permission
of the anonymous writer who appears to be gifted with remarkable
"sang -froid."
It is with regret and haste that I write this letter to you, regret that
such a small misunderstanding could lead to the following circumstances and
haste in order that you will get this report before you form your own
pre-conceived opinions from reports in the world press, for I am sure that
they will tend to over dramatise the affair.
We had just picked up the pilot and the apprentice had returned from
changing the "G" flag for the "H" and, it being his first trip, was having
difficulty in rolling the "G" flag up. I therefore proceeded to show him
how. Coming to the last part, I told him to "let go". The lad, although
willing, is not too bright, necessitating my having to repeat the order in a
sharper tone.
At this moment the Chief Officer appeared from the Chart room, having been
plotting the vessel's progress and, thinking that it was the anchors that
were being referred to , repeated the "let go " order to the Third Officer
on the forecastle. The port anchor, having been cleared away but not walked
out, was promptly let go. The effect of letting the anchor drop from the
"pipe" while the vessel was proceeding at full harbour speed proved too much
for the windlass brake and the entire length of the port cable was pulled
out by the roots. I fear that the damage to the chain locker may be
extensive. The braking effect of the port anchor naturally caused the vessel
to sheer in that direction, right towards the swing bridge that spans a
tributary to the river up which we were proceeding.
The swing bridge operator showed great presence of mind by opening the
bridge for my vessel. Unfortunately, he did not think to stop vehicular
traffic, the result being that the bridge partly opened and deposited a
Volkswagen, two cyclists and cattle truck on the foredeck. My ship's company
are at present rounding up the contents of the latter, which from the noise
I would say were pigs. In his efforts to stop the progress of the vessel,
the Third Officer dropped the starboard anchor, too late to be of practical
use, for it fell on the swing bridge operator's control cabin.
After the port anchor was let go and the vessel started to sheer, I gave a
double ring Full Astern on the Engine Room telegraph and personally rang the
Engine Room to order maximum revolutions astern. I was informed that the sea
temperature was 53 degrees and asked if there was a film tonight. My reply
would not add constructively to this report.
Up to now I have confined my report to the activities at the forward part of
the vessel. Down aft they were having their own problems. At the moment the
port anchor was let go, the Second Officer was supervising the making-fast
of the after tug and was lowering the ship's towing spring down onto the
tug. The sudden braking effect of the port anchor caused the tug to run in
under the stern of the vessel, just at the moment when the propeller was
answering my double ring for Full Astern. The prompt action of the Second
Officer in securing the inboard end of the towing spring delayed the sinking
of the tug by some minutes, thereby allowing the safe abandoning of that
vessel.
It is strange, but at the very same moment of letting go the port anchor
there was a power cut ashore. The fact that we were passing over a "cable
area" at that time might suggest that we may have touched something on the
river bed. It is perhaps lucky that the high tension cables brought down by
the foremast were not live, possibly being replaced by the underwater cable,
but owing to the shore blackout, it is impossible to say where the pylon
fell.
It never fails to amaze me, the actions and behaviour of foreigners during
moments of minor crisis. The pilot, for instance is at this very moment
huddled in the corner of my day cabin, alternately crooning to himself and
crying after having consumed a bottle of gin in a time that is worthy of
inclusion in the Guiness book of Records. The tug captain, on the other
hand, reacted violently and had forcibly to be restrained by the Steward,
who has him handcuffed in the ship's hospital where he is telling me to do
impossible things with my ship and crew.
I enclose the names and addresses of the drivers and insurance companies of
the vehicles on my foredeck, which the Third Officer collected after his
somewhat hurried departure off the forecastle. These particulars will enable
you to claim for the damage that they did to the railings of the No. 1 hold.
I am closing this preliminary report, for I am finding it difficult to
concentrate with the sound of police sirens and their flashing lights.
It is sad to think that had the apprentice realised that there is no need to
fly pilot flags after dark, none of this would have happened.
Beware of the Goldfish in the tulip mines. The ONLY defence against them is smoking peanut butter sandwiches.
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