richardm6994
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| posted on 10/6/13 at 08:28 AM |
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warning to all men!!
2,320 of 2,371 people found the following review helpful
A warning from across the pond..., July 3, 2012
By
A. Chappell
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml (Health and Beauty)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts
had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do
the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote
them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague
hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to
happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I
can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured
much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what
seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only
succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by
this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer
drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I
hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail
fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and
tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney
channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was
going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the
pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by
the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the
air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ".
Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in
myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg
at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the
strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...
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MP3C
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| posted on 11/6/13 at 10:53 AM |
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That... Is... Hilarious
I have seen some good reviews for products before, but I think this takes the biscuit, brightened up my morning at work anyway!
Matt
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Ivan
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| posted on 11/6/13 at 05:02 PM |
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Thanks for the laugh.
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Angel Acevedo
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| posted on 30/6/13 at 01:04 PM |
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This is of Legendary Level, right next to the Taser Joke!!!!!!!!!
Beware of what you wish.. for it may come true....
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geoff shep
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| posted on 30/6/13 at 01:13 PM |
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Its all been on here before: http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/viewthread.php?tid=169740
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