DarrenW
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| posted on 3/2/10 at 11:03 PM |
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The Laws
LAW OF QUEUE
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
BATH THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
LAW OF COFFEE
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
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NigeEss
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| posted on 4/2/10 at 10:30 AM |
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So true 
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 5/2/10 at 08:48 PM |
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The dropped tool also applies to any screw, bolt or fuse. My car has several fuses lodged somewhere between the carpet and the floorpan
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 5/2/10 at 09:36 PM |
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The other law is that my boss, who likes to ramble on relentlessly about some minor and trivial aspect of the job, will wander over for a chat 5
minutes before home-time... 
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iank
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| posted on 6/2/10 at 09:42 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
The other law is that my boss, who likes to ramble on relentlessly about some minor and trivial aspect of the job, will wander over for a chat 5
minutes before home-time...
In my most cynical moments I suspect they teach them that in some 'dark side' management school. If they can make you miss the train they
get another 1/2-1 hour out of you for free.
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 6/2/10 at 08:36 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by iank
quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
The other law is that my boss, who likes to ramble on relentlessly about some minor and trivial aspect of the job, will wander over for a chat 5
minutes before home-time...
In my most cynical moments I suspect they teach them that in some 'dark side' management school. If they can make you miss the train they
get another 1/2-1 hour out of you for free.
Bugger that I'll stand outside!
On a similar note is there anywhere the laws are written down? The UK laws of the land, acts of Parliment etc I mean. It's all got to be in some
big book or something somewhere otherwise we can argue that something's only against the law because Constable Plod says so, in which case
it's illegal to arrest me for anything 
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iank
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| posted on 6/2/10 at 09:36 PM |
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The closest you'll get without paying is here
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts.htm
Everything since 1988 and bits and pieces from before that. Not everything as there are laws going back to the 1600's that are still active
(for a topical example see the Parliamentary privilege law of 1689).
There are probably some interesting bits and pieces from back then that remain un-repealed and would let you have some fun.
They didn't have the majority of the construction and use regulations last time I searched for example.
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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