David Jenkins
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| posted on 22/12/09 at 09:04 PM |
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Why men are never unhappy...
A friend just sent this to me... 
(It's US of A, but still appropriate)
WHY MEN ARE NEVER UNHAPPY:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures.
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You
can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The
world is your urinal.... You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at
your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase... You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to
see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color.. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to
shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can do your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
[Edited on 22/12/09 by David Jenkins]
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JoelP
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| posted on 22/12/09 at 09:21 PM |
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how true
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 22/12/09 at 11:43 PM |
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I have to think about which way to turn a bolt, bloody left hand threads...
Tutor wasn't happy when I told him I'd been putting all my weight on it
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RK
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 12:47 AM |
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One reason left out above, is that we don't think about these things, we just get on with it.
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mistergrumpy
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 02:14 PM |
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Aye but in return we have to shave daily (generally. This is the mans period!) and the big one... testicles are on the outside and should never ever
be kicked, kneed or flicked. Not even in jest!
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JoelP
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 02:51 PM |
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a real man shaves weekly
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 03:08 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by JoelP
a real man shaves weekly
ditto, who the hell wants to look like a kid? I only have a shave when she starts to threat I ain't getting another kiss till I do 
Fame is when your old car is plastered all over the internet
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cd.thomson
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 03:13 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by JoelP
a real man shaves weekly
so does a 15 year old.. 
Craig
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mistergrumpy
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 05:44 PM |
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Aye! A real man NEEDS to shave daily or he'll get a boot up his arris at work!
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 08:04 PM |
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I last shaved in... when was it... somewhere around 1969 or 1970!
I decided when I was 17 or 18 that shaving was a stupid way to start the morning.
My wife and kids have never seen me clean-shaven! 
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 08:27 PM |
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I need to shave daily otherwise a) I feel like I've just woke up all day and b) the next time I do it it hurts like hell (it grows pretty
quickly)
Also when I have stubble I look like a homeless person apparently
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JoelP
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| posted on 23/12/09 at 08:27 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by mistergrumpy
Aye! A real man NEEDS to shave daily or he'll get a boot up his arris at work!
my contract says clean shaven, or with a beard. So occationally im clean shaven (maybe once a fortnight), the rest of the time im growing a beard.
i say clean shaven, i actually use a hair clipper, not even an electric shaver, so in reality its never gone. Not had a wet shave since i was 17!
[Edited on 23/12/09 by JoelP]
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Simon
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| posted on 25/12/09 at 01:55 AM |
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I shave once a week, because of I'm further up the evolutionary pole from apes and the cost of blades pi**ses me off - I make a 5 pack last a
year
ATB
Simon
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graememk
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| posted on 25/12/09 at 11:06 AM |
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use the lady shave in the shower, it has a bigger handle to grip in the wet.
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