An Irish Story.
An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....



'Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot'.

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.

'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 pound note appears.



'This is amazing!'exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?'

'Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man! 'shrieks the patient.

The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc.....

Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.

'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest, how moch was in dare den?'

The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says '£1,990 exactly.'

'Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman

(Wait for it............scroll down.)















'I knew I wasn't feeling two grand...'

That is one of my favourites. Like it a lot.


I also like this one;

A s *xually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her
vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out
of
embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the
surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses
carefully
placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the
doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him: 'I felt sad because you went through
this
all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for
his new ears.'