Ive shamelessly stolen this from another forum. Too good not to share!



A TRUE STORY . . .
I thought I'd better tell you the story of the Hartlepool monkey. Not the one that was hanged as a French spy during the Napoleonic wars, everyone's heard that one. No this one is about Hughie Coffell's monkey. A much better yarn I think.
Hughie was a chucker out (that's a door attendant these days) in one of the rougher pubs in town during the 1950s. At the time Hartlepool was a thriving town and the pubs in the centre were all frequented by sailors of all nationallities. Once Hughie had completed his chucking out duties he used to go into the back room of one of the rougher pubs to play cards.
On this night Hughie played a blinder and ended up cleaning everyone out. One sailor was determined to try to win his money back and ended up playing for his prized posession – his pet monkey. OK, you've guessed. Hughie won.
The sight must have been amazing as a drunken Hughie, pockets bulging with money, weaved his way home with a monkey on a lead next to him.
Naturally the monkey became a bit of a celebrity in the street where Hughie lived in a small terraced house. It's notoriety was enhanced somewhat by a rather quaint little party trick it perfomed every day of it''s life. Bobo used to stand in Hughie's front window with the net curtains to his back and while away the hours by masturbating in full view of the passing public. Matters were made worse as three doors away was the local Women's Institute Hall.
I remember a local band in the 1970s actually wrote a song called "Hughie Coffell's Wanking Monkey".
When Bobo died he made the front page of the local paper. When Hughie died he didn't even get a mention.