>1. A bicycle can't stand-alone; it is two tired.
>
>2. A will is a dead giveaway.
>
>3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
>4. A backward poet writes inverse
>
>5. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
>Count that votes.
>
>6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
>7. If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
>
>8. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
>
>9. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat
>miner.
>
>10. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
>
>11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
>12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum
>Blownapart.
>
>13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
>14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
>
>15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
>16. A calendar's days are numbered.
>
>17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
>18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
>19. He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
>
>20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
>21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
>large.
>
>22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
>
>23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
>
>24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
>
>25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
>26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
>27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
>28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
>
>29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
>
>And might I add...
>
>It is better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a
>tall.

Love 'em.

excellent