I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man."

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.

THAT is a brilliant story! haha

grtz Thomas

Jason