Hot off the Press:



Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBreast will cost £499 or £599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

And Nike have just released some new ladies jogging shorts, called the mumbles, because they're so tight you can see the lips moving but can't understand a word the c***s saying!

Boom boom.

Sorry, so very sorry, I'll get my coat.