>TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
>
>In a Laundromat:
>AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
>LIGHT GOES OUT
>
>In a London department store:
>BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
>
>In an office:
>WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT
>BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
>
>In an office:
>AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
>THE DRAINING BOARD
>
>Over a urinal in a men's room:
>WILL BUCKS WITH SHORT HORNS PLEASE STAND UP CLOSE? THE NEXT MAN MAY
>HAVE HOLES IN HIS SHOES!
>
>Outside a secondhand shop:
>WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
>YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
>
>Notice in health food shop window:
>CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
>
>Spotted in a safari parkI sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR
>CAR
>
>Seen during a conference:
>FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON

>THE 1ST FLOOR
>
>Notice in a farmer's field:
>THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
>CHARGES.
>
>Message on a leaflet:
>IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
>
>On a repair shop door:
>WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
>DOESN'T WORK)