Had to share this one.

White wine is the solution...
>>
>>
>>
>> As if any of you need an excuse to get drunk....
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
>> Do you suffer from shyness?
>> Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
>>
>> If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
>>pharmacist about White Wine.
>>
>> White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
>>about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your
>>shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
>>just about anything.
>>
>> You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately,and with
>>a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you
>>from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a
>>thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you
>>had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
>>
>> White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
>>nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind
>>nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may
>>include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
>>loss ofmotor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
>>virginity,delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry
>>mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip
>>Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
>>
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
>>you are not.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
>>over again that you love them.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
>>really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
>>converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
>>tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
>>WITH you.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> WARNING:
>> The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass
>>kicked.
>
>

Oh, how very true!