Borrowed from another forum, I found this quite funny, and true.....

So, I'm relatively familiar with mathematics. I can turn numbers into other ones with symbols and more numbers and all sorts of crazy shit.

I know that if you have a sales tax rate of 17.5%, an item costing £1 will cost you £1.175 to buy. I know that if you increase the sales tax rate to 20%, the same item will cost you £1.20 to buy. I know that this is an increase of 2.13%, even though the sales tax rate increase is 2.5%.

I also know that if you increase the cost of fuel by 2.13%, taking things from production facility to distribution centre and distribution centre to supermarket increases in cost by 2.13%. I also know that if you have 250,000 items on a truck, the cost of each individual item increases by 0.0004% - or 1 penny for every two hundred thousand pounds of value.

I'd assume, therefore, that the same companies who didn't change their prices down to reflect the 2.5% reduction in VAT would, at their cynical worst, increase prices by 2.13% in line with VAT or, assume no-one could do maths and increase it all by 2.5% and pretend it's due to VAT.


So would someone please explain to me why everything in the bleeping supermarket is 20% more expensive suddenly? Why a Creme Egg - a Creme bleeping Egg, which is no more than a mouthful for a dwarf hamster - is FIFTY FUCKING PENCE (oh, and "Or 6 for £3!" qualifies as a saving or in fact anything other than the multiplication of 50p by 6), why Haagen-Dazs is FOUR POUNDS CUNTING SEVENTY, why actual, sensible beer than I used to buy every week for £1.33 is ONE SHITTING POUND EIGHTY and, most of all, why the place is still crammed to the rafters with jizz-brained, shuffling, muttering, yokel inbreds lapping it the bleep up?

This, folks, is why I never leave the house. There's no sanity out there.


Though I did get to knee a small child in the sternum, shortly before its father told it that if it didn't stop running round and start behaving, he'd "have to take away some stars". Yeah, how about taking away some testicles until you can learn to look after what spurts out of them, you bleeping leprechaun?

PMSL brilliant especially the small child that cannot behave ( a personall hate).

I also know that mathematically it is impossible to belt someone in the kisser.
Before you can hit their face your fist needs to travel half the distance from launch site to said kisser. Then it has to travel half the remaining distance and then half the remaining distance etc etc
And we all know that half of something is never nothing so contact can never be attained.

I rest my case your honour I never belted that twat.