There was a day of frenzied activity in the Barclays Premiership
yesterday as footballers rushed to beat the 6.00 pm cut-off for
transferring their wives and girlfriends.

Tottenham central defender Karl Nyarko has snapped up much
sought-after glamour model Haylee Ashby from Sunderland striker Phil
Letch for an undisclosed fee, while lapdancer Debbie Francis has moved
from Portsmouth defender Chris Bevan to Aston Villa midfielder Kelvin
Legg for £250,000 from a tabloid newspaper. Meanwhile, highly-rated
former Big Brother contestant Laura Blakely has joined Liverpool's
Croatian midfielder Ivano Vokker on a six-month loan after previous
trials with players from Everton, Fulham and Scunthorpe.

Manchester United were delighted to have secured the Essex swimwear
model Daniella Stevens for their French centre back Jean-Pierre
Bertillon. "Daniella's great with her head and has scored with almost
every club in the Premiership," said Sir Alex Ferguson. "She's been
experimenting in lots of positions but, hang on, I think this will
work, she'll be best staying tight on Jean-Pierre and will certainly
stiffen up the United defence."

Stevens was formerly a regular first choice in the passenger seat of
the Aston Martin of United's Nigerian striker, Carl Achampong. After
failing a physical she was let go but now returns after extensive
surgery. "She's looks a natural up front," said Sir Alex, "and we can
play Carl in the hole just behind her."

Rumours that Danielle Lloyd would be on the move again, bringing the
total number of players she has served into double figures, failed to materialise.

[Edited on 17/2/10 by mad-butcher]

[Edited on 17/2/10 by mad-butcher]

I still think it should be Wives OR Girlfriends though!

I have no idea who you are talking about or if it is meant to be funny or serious.,

The only names I recognised on there are Manchester and Liverpool!