I was sat at home on the internet happily minding my own business when my computer crashed again and I had an idea. Why doesn't this poo system just crash at the beginning and save me time pissing around in the first place. So I contacted Microsoft and they did just that!
I'm a PC and I invented Windows 7

And to think every OS since XP has complained that I don't let it update at will, I make it tell me they're available. I wonder why I do that now?