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London at a stand still
neilj37 - 9/2/09 at 11:21 AM

Chilled London commuters faced a day of winter hell today, as 1 centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops.

Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Scotland are being flown in.

With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Londoners were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

London police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through London's most terrible storm to date.

Harrods reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants.

Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Farqhuar Pillkington-Bland.
"I didn't pay £3,000,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Glasgow ."


omega 24 v6 - 9/2/09 at 12:27 PM

PMSL Neil nice one


mr henderson - 9/2/09 at 01:23 PM

quote:
Originally posted by neilj37

Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Scotland are being flown in.



Plenty of Scottish 'experts' here already, I'm afraid, and they've been here for years

Perhaps it's their expertise in Scottish weather that caused them to move here in the first place.

John


RK - 9/2/09 at 01:35 PM

London substituted for Vancouver. Nice one though!

Dr. Blatherwick is the chief medical officer for the city of Vancouver, and Mountain Equipment Co-Op is an outdoor goods store. The Lower Mainland is what we call the Vancouver area - as opposed to Vancouver Island.